If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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