I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
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Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
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I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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