Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
