Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
