so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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