She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.