Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
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Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
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Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.