i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.