i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....