Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist