Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I wear drunk well.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
