My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I forgot wine drunk hurts
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
