after a month anything with tits is on the radar
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
