I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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