it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
The best revenge is premature balding
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Randomize
