i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Randomize
