I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
