I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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