Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
