Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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