he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
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