I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Randomize