I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
