sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
