i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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