Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
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