Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
only if we run a train.
done.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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