I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Randomize
