I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
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