Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
