around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
