After last night, I could never be a politician.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize