Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
