I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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