Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
