why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
