so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
The best revenge is premature balding
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
