I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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