What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
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