Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
