I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Randomize
