I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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