i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
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She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
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In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
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