my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
