God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i just made my gag reflex go away.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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