Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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