the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
