They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
