Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
