She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
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I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
jump out the window naked night went bad
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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