The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
