U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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