She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
