I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
The cops high fived after they tackled you
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
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