I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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