Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
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