Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Randomize