You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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