He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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