I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
my poor anus
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
