dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
