i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
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Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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