'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
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