But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
